Splurge 1
by stardust1173
Summary: My friends and I with our fav Naruto Bishies. Outofchracterness. Poor humor and LOTS of sexual content. This will be a continuing series of oneshots. RATED M FOR A REASON! temporary hiatus... FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DONT READ
1. Random Orgey

Splurge 1

Pairings:

Jen/Kakashi Amanda/Iruka Todo/Itachi Lily/Kabuto Crystal/Sasuke

Jen is sitting on Kakashi's lap and both are holding an Icha-Icha Paradise book. Just then Amanda and Iruka burst through the door making out.

"Ahh!" Jen screams and holds the book to her face so she can't see them.

"Oh come on Jen, we went farther then that last night." Kakashi smirks.

"And this morning." Jen reminds him. At this statement Amanda pulls her lips away from Iruka's and looks at the happy couple.

"You had sex in the morning?"

"Almost every morning actually."

"Kakashi!"

"Well it's true."

"Go Jen-chan!" Amanda winks and slides her hands around Iruka's neck. Jen sighs.

"What can I say? I'm horny when I wake up."

"Having good dreams?" Itachi's voice calls and Jen flushes pink.

"Hi Itachi." She mumbles.

"Jen-chan!" Todo calls and pops her head out from under Itachi's cloak. (everyone O.O)

"What were you… never mind." Jen shakes her head as the newly arrived couple sit next to them on the couch. Amanda and Iruka never made it to the couch and are instead rolling around on the floor… still making out.

"Reading Icha-Icha again?" Todo peers over Jen's shoulder.

"Yup. It's our favorite." Jen grins. "Want to read some?" She grins evilly and passes Todo the book. "It's great for inspiration." Jen giggles and Kakashi wraps his arms around her waist. "Frisky babe?"

"Always." He flips her around to face him in his lap. He slides his hand up the back of her shirt as he kisses her neck.

"Kakashi, not here!" Jen complains and tries to push him back, unsuccessful.

"Why not? It's nothing they haven't done before."

"Unless we break out the strawberries." Jen comments.

"True." Kakashi whips her bra off.

"Hey! I said no!"

"Are you feeling shy today?"

"No! It's just, if we start so will everyone else and the last thing we need is an orgy in the living room."

"Did someone say orgy?"

"No!" Jen says quickly.

"Lily-chan!" Todo cries and waves at her.

"I distinctly heard the word orgy come from your mouth Jen." Kabuto says and kisses Lily's forehead.

"I didn't! You're imagining things!" Jen says defensively.

"I knew it, you are shy today." Kakashi says and pulls her closer to him.

"St-ah…" Jen moans as he nips her neck.

"Geeze Jen, you can go from coma to sex in one bite."

"Crystal!" Both Lily and Todo cheer.

"Hey everyone. I see we're the last to arrive."

"Yeah, what kept you? Did Sasuke loose the key to the handcuffs again?" At this statement Sasuke glares at Todo. She glares back. Itachi is too absorbed in the Icha-Icha book Jen gave them to notice.

"Hey now, can we all just – HOLY SHIT! PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON AMANDA!" Jen screams and slaps her hand over her eyes, her face turning red.

"Shy…" Kakashi whispers in her ear.

"But I'm horny!" Amanda whines.

"Then go into another room god damn it!" Jen hides her face in Kakashi's chest as Amanda and Iruka retreat to the nearest door. As it closes Jen looks up. "Uh, guys? That's the closet. Oh well…"

"So, what are we all doing here?" Lily asks from Kabuto's lap. Both are sitting on the floor.

"Um…I…uh…" Jen stammers.

"Oh! Oh! I know! I know! Pick me!" Crystal waves her hand in the air.

"Okay, Crystal! What are we doing here?" Jen pretends to hold out a microphone to her.

"We are here for an orgy!" Crystal beams.

"I knew it!" Lily cries as everyone but Jen cheers. Instead, Jen slaps her forehead and groans.

"No…"

"A good idea though." Kakashi states and slides his hands up and down Jen's sides.

"You just want to have sex."

"Well yeah."

"Ah!" Todo yelps as she falls off of the couch. "I can't believe you dropped me!" She pouts.

"It was an accident." Itachi says, truthfully it was. (not enough room on the couch)

"Then why don't you show me how sorry you are?" Todo looks up at him with innocent eyes but says it in a seductive way.

"Psst! Todo!" Kakashi gets her attention. "Sprinkles are in the kitchen." He winks as she and Itachi run into the kitchen. They all hear a few things fall off the counter, then silence.

"Since when do we have sprinkles?" Jen gives Kakashi a questioning look.

"I was feeling kinky."

"You're always feeling kinky."

"Okay…" Crystal says and sets her hand on Sasuke's knee. Jen bends down and picks up the Icha-Icha book Itachi dropped.

"Oh…"

"What?" Kabuto asks and stops nibbling on Lily's ear.

"Chapter eighteen." Jen holds up the book and settles back down into Kakashi's lap.

"They sure are going to have fun." Lily giggles. Kabuto whispers something in her ear and her eyes light up. "Hey Jen, is your hot tub working?"

"Uh, yes." Jen points to a door and the two rush out it.

"Hot tub?! Wait up Lily!" Crystal calls and pulls Sasuke after her. Jen blinks, a very confused look on her face.

"Okay, this is kinda strange." Jen says.

"That everyone knew to show up here but not even we know what for?"

"No, that everyone is having sex at our house but us." Jen smirks and Kakashi, instantly getting the message, tackles her.

And there was much bliss at the Hatake household that evening….

(((I just noticed that neither Iruka nor Sasuke has a speaking part in this story! Oh well. Hope you like it girls!)))


	2. Prank Gift

Splurge: second take

Pairings:

Jen/Kakashi Amanda/Iruka Todo/Itachi Lily/Kabuto Crystal/Sasuke

Jen was reading the latest volume of Icha-Icha Paradise when Lily bust in through the front door, scaring her off her spot on the couch. "Um… opps?" Lily says and smiles awkwardly.

"Lily! Why did you do that?!" Jen jumps up and looks at the bag Lily is holding out to her. "Is that for me?" Lily nods and Jen glomps her. "Woohoo! Presents!" Jen pulls the contents of the bag out and her smiles drops. "WHY WOULD YOU GIVE ME SOMETHING LIKE THIS!?!"

"Ah! Don't kill me!" Lily cowers on the floor and Kakashi walks in the room.

"What is going – is that a pregnancy test?" Kakashi spots the box in Jen's hands.

"Um…" Is all Jen has time to say before he disappears.

"Oh my god! You're pregnant?!" Todo and Itachi stand in the doorway surprised.

"Now hold on!" Jen tries to calm everyone.

"What's the matter Kakashi? Run out of condoms?" Itachi asks, obviously bored with the situation.

"Wait a minute!" Jen shouts.

"Is it a boy or girl?" Todo hugs Jen tightly. Just then Crystal walks in with Sasuke. (queue squeal fest)

"Oh my god! This is fantastic!" Crystal joins the hug.

"What's fantastic?" Amanda and Iruka show up at the crowded doorway.

"Jen's Pregnant!" Todo, Lily, and Crystal squeal at the same time.

"OH MY GOD!" Amanda screams and joins the hug.

"WAIT!" Jen screams and pushes everyone back. "I will say this **one** time so just listen. I am **_not_** pregnant."

"Then why do you have that?" Amanda points to the box still in Jen's hand.

"Lily just gave this to me before you all showed up." Jen pauses. "Why exactly are you all here?" Kakashi walks back into the room, Jen hadn't even noticed he had left.

"Wow, you're here already?"

"You called them?!" Jen nearly pounces on him in rage.

"I thought they should know the good news."

"I'M NOT PREGNANT!" Jen screams and throws the box at Lily.

"Oh, well we can fix that." Kakashi wraps his arms tightly around Jen.

"God damn it Lily! I'm killing you!"

"Maybe later." Kakashi throws Jen over his shoulder and walks through a door, Jen yelling the whole time to keep his perverted _anything_ off her. "She'll have to get back to you." Kakashi closes the door and they hear the click of the lock.

"What just happened here?" Todo asks confused.

"That…was…Great! Did you get the pictures?" Lily asks and Kabuto appears out of now where with a camera and a smile on his face.

"This was a great idea." He pulls Lily close and kisses her.

"You set this up?" Amanda looks at Lily surprised and Lily just giggles.

"She is going to kill you later." Todo says. Itachi wraps his arms around her waist and they disappear. (Kakashi's phone call interrupted something cough)

Lily looks around. "Where did the others go?"

"Maybe they were in the middle of something when Kakashi called." Kabuto says suggestively.

"Ow! That doesn't bend that way Kakashi!" Jen's strangely muffled voice calls out.

"Sorry…" Kakashi apologizes.

"Um…" Lily coughs and Kabuto pulls her out the door, the Icha-Icha book Jen was reading earlier in his hand. "Where are we going?" Lily asks.

"To reenact chapter seven." Kabuto relplies.

(((Okay, so it's shorter but I think it's funny.)))


	3. Hotsprings

Splurge 3

Pairings: Jen/Kakashi Amanda/Iruka Todo/Itachi Lily/Kabuto Crystal/Sasuke

Yet again at the Hatake Household…

"Jen!" Kakashi calls as he walks through the door.

"Hold on!" She responds and comes out of the bathroom a second later, still tugging her shirt on.

"Lily invited us to the hot springs."

"When?"

"Now." There is a five second pause before Jen grabs her swimsuit and dashes out the door, Kakashi following her quickly.

At the hot spring…

Jen and Todo are changing in the women's locker room. Jen whips out her strappy blue bikini and puts it on. "You brought a swim suit?" Todo wraps a towel around herself.

"Yeah, is that a problem?" Todo just shrugs and they step into the hot spring. Amanda, Crystal, and Lily are already there.

"Hey! It's about time!" Amanda waves at them and accidentally splashes Crystal.

"Why are you wearing a bathing suit?" Lily asks as Todo and Jen step into the water.

"Because I can…and I look good in it."

"You're just shy." Amanda rolls her eyes.

"So what if I am!?"

"How can you be married to Kakashi and still be shy?" Crystal asks.

"I don't know, I just am. I guess he just hasn't corrupted me enough yet." Jen dips her head below the water and resurfaces. "Mm, so warm."

"That's why they call it a hot spring." Todo chimes in.

"Well I know that." Jen growls and crosses her arms. Todo, Lily, Amanda, and Crystal look at each other and slowly move towards Jen but she isn't paying attention. That is, until Amanda and Todo each grab one of her arms. "What are you? Ah!" Jen screams and quickly finds her swim suit being thrown over the side of the wall. "Guys! Why did you do that?"

"Because it was fun." Amanda giggles.

"And the guys are over there." Lily smirks.

"Kakashi will sure be in for a surprise." Crystal beams.

"I wonder if we hit anyone…" Todo thinks out loud. Jen suddenly gets an image of Sasuke being hit in the head with her swim suit and snorts. Which she tries to disguise as a cough.

Everyone finds a comfortable position and they stay silent for a few minutes with only the muffled sounds coming from the other side of the wall around the pool. Finally Lily breaks the silence. "Think we should go see how the guys are doing?"

"I thought this wasn't a coed spring." Jen looks over at Lily confused.

"Well technically it isn't but there isn't anyone else here today." Lily smiles. Amanda gets her evil grin, Crystal starts giggling, and Todo starts cursing herself for not bringing handcuffs. Jen is the only one not approving this idea.

"I don't think we should. Besides, how would we get to their side without being caught by the manager?"

"Easy, just climb the fence." Lily swims over to it and starts climbing. Crystal follows suit.

"Come on Jen." Amanda and Todo each grab one of her arms and start to pull her towards the wall.

"But I don't – Hey!" Jen cries as they hoist her up and throw her over. She splashes into the warm water next to Crystal and Lily. Todo and Amanda quickly follow her.

"Well hello." Kabuto smirks.

"Just decided to visit." Lily smiles and goes over to him. Jen promptly diverts her eyes and crosses her arms in front of her chest.

"Why did you throw Jen over?" Iruka asks as Amanda swims up to him.

"She didn't want to come." Amanda smiles and waves at Jen, who is ignoring everyone.

"Oh come on Jen, it's not that bad." Todo leans against Itachi.

"Todo!" Jen shouts but can't think of anything else to say.

"Shy…" Crystal mocks and continues kissing Sasuke.

"So what if I am!" Jen growls and tenses as a hand rests on her hip.

"Relax love." Kakashi says softly. "That _is_ why we are here."

"B- mm…" Jen gets cut off by Kakashi's tongue. He pulls away and she glares at him. "I hate it when you do that." Jen jumps as a stray moan hits her ears. (heh heh, you can guess what the others are doing) Her face turns bright red in spite of herself. "I can't do this." She holds both her hands in front of her blushing face.

"What if you read this first?" Kakashi holds out a book and Jen looks up.

"Make out Tactics? Where – When did you get this?"

"Yesterday."

"And you didn't tell me!?"

"I wanted to read it first." Jen snatches the book from him and begins reading. Fifteen minutes later, everyone is reading over her shoulder except for Itachi and Todo, who left saying something about sprinkles, Wurthers and hot sauce. And Jen never got her swim suit back.

(((The end of the next installment of Splurge! Lily wanted hot springs so here it is. Not my best but here it is. Four is on the way and I already have an idea for five.)))


End file.
